Learning to refuse him nothing

A reflection on imitating the example given by St. Teresa of Calcutta

Some time ago I read about how St. Teresa of Calcutta made a vow that she would ‘Refuse him nothing.” And thus, she lived her life in total surrender and repeatedly responded to God with her a ‘yes’ to all that he asked. The Lord brought order to her life, and he led her to do incredible things. Truly, it was through her repeated yes to the next request from him that her ministry and work grew and remains in action to this day.

One of my favorite examples of this mentality on display was a story that occurred when she ran into a priest she knew. As I recall it, upon seeing him, she somewhat abruptly excused herself for a few moments. Upon her return, she handed him a sealed envelope saying only, ‘Give this to your mother.’ The priest taken aback, did as she said and upon delivery inquired to his mother about the note. All his mother shared was that it was exactly what she needed to hear. The priest marveled at how she could know what his mother needed to hear but he also knew the answer without asking. Her ‘yes’ was so deep and persistent that she was able to respond in both big and small ways that were transformative to those whom she encountered.

Today, I pondered that specific call and notion to ‘refuse him nothing’. I struggle with how many times I do in fact refuse or even deny the whispers that well up within my heart. It can be as simple as ‘put down the phone’ or ‘stop this household task and be present to your children’ or ‘why don’t you extend an invitation to pray with that person right now.’ They aren’t necessarily big asks, but in my weariness or propensity to attempt to do things on my own strength, I don’t always have the energy to say yes in the moment.

A year ago, I was touched by a deeply tragic loss within our community. It was painful to witness a situation in which the ask he gave to our community was responded to with a ‘yes’, but the answer was not the miracle we had hoped for. It can be difficult to wrestle with the reality that sometimes, even our ‘yes’ to him will not yield the desired results. This misalignment between our desired outcomes and the actual outcomes can be challenging to reconcile and even at times make us ‘yes’ resistant.

What if, the ‘yes’ he ask of us, hurts? What if the ‘yes’ he ask of us doesn’t yield the desired results? Even though within my mind I can reason that the Lord’s ‘yes’ to Our Father, led to the crucifixion and that among so many lessons he set forth by that act of love and mercy he also revealed to us things aren’t always what they seem.

Perhaps, the question is, Can I continue to try to say ‘yes? Or rather, is it possible that I may grow to say more ‘yeses’ than ‘no’s’ of what he ask of me?

As the priest so beautifully reminded me today, while here on earth our humanity precludes that we will in fact say ‘no’ again. But it is in our effort and desire that the Lord sees and even purifies us over time. Sometimes, ‘yes’ leads to a day like today that is filled with grace, love and mercy. Sometimes, ‘yes’ leads to a day like the one I commemorated earlier this week recalling a significant loss several years ago.

Today, as I made a small Jubilee pilgrimage with three amazing women whom I have the privilege of praying with and for on a regular basis, I could not help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude. It was easy to see that a series of ‘yeses’ have brought us together for this season of our lives. Within the journey, I was reminded that to ‘Refuse him nothing’ is inherently a beautiful desire of the heart. But within that desire the ultimate goal of heaven should not be derailed from a misguided pursuit of perfection in which we fall short. This then, potentially creates so much distraction that we miss the next opportunity to say ‘yes’.

The incredible relief is that when we look to God, we can be certain that he will provide what we need to respond to what he ask of us it is he is asking of us. Who better to say ‘yes’ to than a God who is always working for our good even when we can’t see it. For truly, “Hope does not disappoint.” (Rom 5:5)